|Some of my journals and one of my prayer shawls.|
“In solitude,” Henri Nouwen says, “we can slowly unmask the illusion of our possessiveness and discover in the center of our own self that we are not what we can conquer but what is given to us.” I find that to be a powerful thought.
The idea I get is that I am not made up to be who I am by God to be victorious over my shortcomings by myself. But God make me as I am to allow Him to work out the shortcomings and the frailties of who I am.
Back in the early 1980's, I used to get very rattled, upset, and even frustrated very easily. I began hearing the word “trust.” Every time I would see a passage of scripture that contained the word trust, it looked like this TRUST. I believe that God was speaking to me at that time.
However, I really did not fully listen as I should have. I went through a phase where I realized that I lost a considerable amount of energy each time I got angry. It was a while after that when I found Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust the Lord God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. (NIV)
God does not give up on refining us; He lets us go until we mess up. He accepts our apology and allows us to grow from the experience. Thank You, Lord.
Whenever I go through something, I try to reflect on the events and see if I could have done something differently and maybe the outcome might have been more pleasant. What I have learned amazes me. A lot of the events that happen in my life are not necessarily about me-the majority of the time, I am there to help-kind of like an extra in a play. I have learned that I am nobody special and harsh things can happen to me.
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