nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will. Matthew 26:39 (ESV)
“I prayed for God to heal him. Why didn’t He answer my prayers?”
“Why did God have to take her from her family?” I asked these questions when He took someone in my extended family.
The first time came after my uncle passed from this earth. I was angry that God had not done as I asked. Later, a co-worker and friend said something to me about God’s will. I found myself opening my heart to her. “I won’t pray for His will ever again. He let my uncle die.” Her response has stayed with me these four decades. “God’s will gets done no matter what we want. He is sovereign.”
The second time I felt discouraged was when God took my husband’s niece. She was older than we were. She had granddaughters who needed her guidance. I had prayed for her as I sat in the hospital ICU room. I drove her daughter down to the hospital in Indianapolis twice- once when she was life-lined there. And again, in the wee hours of the next morning. I held onto hope when the doctors said there was none.
A few weeks after her service, my husband and I stopped at a neighborhood convenience store. He went in to get something. As I sat in the car, a young man from our church exited the store. He came over to my car and spoke to me. He asked how I was doing. I told him what had happened and that I was emotionally down and why I felt that way. His response also has stayed with me since then. “God may have done what was best for her.”
I learned a lot about God’s will from these conversations. The biggest lesson is that when we pray for God’s will, we can’t tell Him what that is. We can only request that our wish is heard.